30 Days of Me - Day 20

Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future:

My husband. Till death do us part. (Providing he feels the same way of course. It would be foolish to be presumptuous about another person)...We are two very different people who choose to share our uniqueness with each other exclusively. ; ) We've been married for 10 years but I feel like we are only just starting out. (Had a few things to shake up/out.) I am not committed to the institution of marriage, however, I am committed to him. (and now our children too.)

He is altogether lovely.

30 Days of Me - Day 19

Nicknames you have and why you have them:

Lol- Lol which then got shortened to Lol:

Go on. Laugh out Loud if you must. But before text language was around, I was here! As a toddler my little sister couldn't say my name so would call me Lol-Lol. This got shortened to Lol over time and is only used by family and very close friends. Don't even think about using it if you haven't seen me naked, upset or wiping away your tears. It's no laughing matter. You definitely won't hear it used in public. Especially now it's on the end of every tweet by 50 cent. [lol].

Lozza:

This you can laugh at. It started as a joke between girlfriends at high school. Oh, look at that. It stuck.

My Love:

As called by My Love.

Ms Kittengloves:

My Twitter and Facebook name. Disturbingly, my son likes to wind me up when we're out and will yell "Ms Kittengloves!" when trying to get my attention. I ignore him. Which sometimes results in, "Hey Lady!"

30 Days of Me - Day 18

Plans/Dreams/Goals you have:

1. To finish my BA

2. Travel the world

3. Live in the country

4. Write and take photos

5. Be a wise, old woman surrounded by close friends and family

6. To "be the change I want to see in the world"

Other dreams are too hidden to even whisper yet...

(photo not my own.)

30 Days of Me - Day 17

Someone you would want to switch lives with for a day and why:

A day is not really long enough to get any real beneficial learning. I would want to switch lives with someone from an anthropological point of view and a day would be a near useless experience. You'd need a month at least but ideally a year surely?

The anthropologist in me would want to swap lives with someone from a completely different country, culture and/or even gender. A "Lady-Boy" from Thailand perhaps? Or a young mother from a nomadic tribe in Africa? The old woman with leprosy with the missing nose who tapped on my taxi window while we waited at traffic lights in Mumbai. A white, male, American. I would want to know everything about them. After all, we are all different yet the same somehow.

However, I'm guessing this question wasn't specifically aimed at an anthropologist.

Swapping hats...

The suburban housewife in me would like to swap lives for a day with...

Dita Von Teese!

A gorgeous, intelligent, sexy, woman using her agency and who looks like she's having a hell of a lot of fun.

30 Days of Me - Day 16

Another photo of yourself:

Bobble head.

30 Days Of Me - Day 15

Put your iPod on shuffle. What are the first 10 songs played?

1. Luno by Bloc Party from Silent Alarm Remixed.

2. Pure by Salmonella Dub from One Drop East.

3. Fantails & Whiteheads - Native NZ Birdsong.

4. Bodysnatchers by Radiohead from In Rainbows.

5. Black Swan by Thom York from The Eraser.

6. Glass by Bat For Lashes from Two Suns.

7. Home 0207 by Plastic Operator from Different Places.

8. Foundations by Kate Nash from Made of Bricks.

9. Zero by Yeah Yeah Yeahs from It's Blitz.

10. Staralfur by Sigur Ros from Hvarf-Heim (Disc 2)

How deliriously exciting. o_O

For your listening pleasure: Glass by Bat For Lashes:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SQRquroQa2M&feature=related

You can search for the rest yourself if it fancies you. : )

30 Days Of Me - Day 14

A Picture of You and Your Family:

I refuse to put up a posed, family xmas shot. Everyone looks so unnatural in those. Here are some selected pics that will hopefully communicate what my family is all about: Love and humor.

1. Dad, me and my little sister. 2. Me, my brother, sister and some cousins. 3. My husband's family pie fight as organised by our sons for his 30th. 4. Husband and youngest. 5. All my menfolk in the backyard during summer. 6. Family wedding with Katchafire playing. 7. My mother's dark skin contrasting with my 8 year old's.

Interesting thought for the day: What/who is family? These pics are a small representation.

30 Days of Me - Day 13

A letter to someone who has hurt you recently:

Dear person who betrayed me,

I miss you. Well, not really you. I miss the person I thought you were. I loved you. Really cared for you. I thought you knew that. I don't think you know much at all anymore.

I know I said I had forgiven you. On a certain level I meant it. I longed for things to go back to the way they were so in my swirling grief I reached back to you and offered my forgiveness. I wanted to forgive you so badly. However, wishing forgiveness into immediate fruition does not necessarily birth it into reality. The reality is I do not forgive you yet. However, I am working towards it.

But just so you know, for now, my anger is only one arm's length away from connecting with your face.

Yours in the honest process of forgiveness,

Lauren.

30 Days of Me - Day 12

Why did you make this blog?

Bit of a boring question, one I've answered previously, so thought I'd squash it into today as well.

My husband suggested I make myself an anonymous blog as a way of releasing all my frustrations and exercising my creative expression. Good idea. However, I only ever blogged every couple of months and NOONE ever read it so I was never motivated to write. I never knew which came first, the chicken or the egg?

So I've thrown out the anonymous plan. And tempered my reflections - Just.

Doing this 30 Days Of Me has been a great daily discipline. I might get into this blog thing after all. (Famous last words.)

A Random sexy picture because this post was so boring. And I like red hair. And tattoos. And boobs.

30 Days of Me - Day 11

Another picture of you and your friends:

Refer to my earlier post about not having 1000s of drunk self takes. Here's the case for why I prefer not to take the camera with me on a night out:

Occasion: My husband's 30th birthday party in town last May:

Scene 1: Me and one of my dearest friends at the beginning of the evening. Respectable dinner party guests:

Scene 2: At the other end of the evening/morning. My husband, another friend and I as drunken dance floor hoggers:

30 Days of Me - Day 10

Music you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, hyped and mad:

O I love music. Music is my drug of choice. I have many, many soundtracks to my life. I buy a new CD nearly every month at least. Probably more than that. We currently don't know how to store this "habit".

This makes answering this question very difficult. I've decided I will answer it on how I feel today. If I was feeling all those emotions today then these would be the songs I'd listen to:

1. Happy = Jonsi Go Do ....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6HjT4SQKJI

2. Sad = Swell Season I Have Loved You Wrong ....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1RCUJav54NU&feature=fvst

3. Bored = Kidz in Space Ocean of Drugs ....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qMauIq7GUEI

4. Hyped = The Editors Papillon ....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wq4tyDRhU_4

5. Mad = Florence & The Machine Girl with One Eye ....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FeiRTjzdII4

Tomorrow's playlist would be different. Enjoy today's. (or not...You can lead a horse to water...)

; )

The Beatitudes from The Great Mystic

A new translation of what Jesus said. - From his spoken Aramaic

(The Beatitudes.)

Tuned to the Source are those who hold fast to the spirit of life; They are held by the one breath of the cosmic ruler of all that shines.

Healed will be those who weep for their confusion and frustrated desire; They shall see the face of fulfillment in a new form.

Aligned with the One are those who have softened what has become rigid within; they shall be renewed, open to receive earth’s splendid fruits.

Integrated and without delusion are those who long for a foundation of peace and justice; they shall be encircled by a new society.

Blessed are those who shine from their deepest place and birth mercy; they shall feel the heat of cosmic ardour and embrace.

Healthy are those whose passion is electrified by deep abiding purpose and the core of love; They shall regard the power and wealth that animates itself in all things.

Aligned with the One are those who prepare the ground for tranquil gatherings; who plant peace each season and strike the chord that unites; They shall be the rays of the One.

Blessings to you when you are dislocated for the cause of justice; your new home is the province of the universe: the Word above; the Earth beneath.

Strength shall fill you when you are conspired against, spent, disunited for my sake. Then feel at the peak, be moved, act to extremes. Let your ego disappear and receive abundance, multiplied around you.

(Translations by Neil Douglas Klotz)

30 Days Of Me - Day Nine

Something you're proud of in the last few days:

That's a tough one. I should have really thought this one through in advance so I could actually do something worthy of recalling here.

But while I've been sitting here pondering my lack of proud moments, one has fallen into my lap.

I am proud of my boys ability to reconcile their differences and grievances against each other. This scenario just happened:

8yo squashed 6yo on the trampoline to the point of hurt limbs and bruised ego. We dashed outside to the screams of anger and pain. After separating them both we told them to stay clear of each other until they had calmed down were able to talk. About 5 mins passed before the 8yo entered the room and the following conversation commenced:

8yo: "Are we friends yet?"

6yo: "No."

Me to 6yo: "How about you tell him what happened and how you feel."

6yo: "You squashed me real hard. I've really hurt my arm, head and ear. There was no need for it."

Me to 6yo: "How did getting hurt make you feel? Tell him."

6yo to 8yo: "It made me feel 2 things. I feel angry and sad."

8yo: "Ok. I feel empathy for you."

6yo: "What's empathy?"

8yo: "I hear what you've said and I feel sorry. Sorry."

6yo: "Ok."

Me to 6yo: "Will you forgive him?"

6yo: "Hmm. A little bit.....O.k, it's ok, let's go play again."

This is a huge skill to learn. Forgiveness is a process. I am proud that we are teaching our children a dialogue of honesty and grace. These are just the small seeds of learning. But my sons are growing into men day by day...

30 Days Of Me - Day Eight

Short term goals for this month and why:

1. Bake 2 birthday cakes and get birthday party sorted for my soon-to-be 7 year old son. We're heading to Megazone in the school holidays to engage in lazer battles. Little boys and lazers and cake and lollies and superheroes...Getting the picture? My goal will be to rock the party.

2. Get my time management sorted and get these 2 research essays completed. I intend to do well. Hope to keep my A student record. Fingers crossed.

3. Attend a family wedding "incident" free. But I'm a lover and a fighter, a red head in a blonde's body, so I am making no promises. My goal is to be a gracious as my mother.

4. Lose weight. But I'm not going to implement a plan. Just hoping that writing these words will be like some sort of magical spell. That's not a goal really is it? That's more a wish. My goal will be to attend the gym more. There.

30 Days Of Me - Day Seven

A Picture of someone who has had the biggest impact on you:

My husband.

I met him just after his 18th birthday. We are now in our 30s. We have therefore known each other for over a 1/3 of our lives. We've grown up together. Shared our heart aches and failures as well as our joy.

He is extra-ordinary. Someone who does not blend into the masses.

Lovable beyond words.

30 Days Of Me - Day Six

Your Favourite Superhero:

Never really paid much attention to superheroes...Until I became a mother of little boys. My 6yo LOVES both Spiderman and Superman. When he gets home from school, he strips off his school uniform and promptly dons his superhero costume. (Depending on who he feels like being on any given day.) He has other costumes and masks as well, but he particularly loves the 2 "S" men.

Here he is watching one of the Spiderman movies. On this occasion, when Spiderman told MJ he didn't love her, I heard him mutter under his breath, "He's lying." Then, when Spiderman finally revealed who he really is to MJ, my 6yo simultaneously whipped of his mask and lurched expectantly and wide eyed at the screen.

Therefore, my 6yo is my favourite superhero.

30 Days of Me - Day Five

(Yes this is my second post for the day...thought I might try and catch up a bit.)

A place I've been to:

I've been to few places. I have literally thousands of photos. But here are a few that are randomly sourced. (All my own pics)

Family walk on the West Coast, Napier, Jaipur India, Te Mata Peak walk, in bed in Wellington, at the Pakistan/Indian border, road trip through the Rajasthan desert, New Year's eve Napier beach, under the xmas tree, North Shore coast walk....

30 Days of Me - Day Four

A habit I wish I didn't have:

Going to bed too late and being constantly tired! Isn't the definition of insanity repeating the same behavior expecting to get different results? I know I should take better care of myself and go to bed earlier but when you have young kids, by the time they finally go to sleep, you want a bit of "me" time.

I'll try and break this habit. Tomorrow. I guess the root of this bad habit is procrastination. : )

-MM in bed. Sweet dreams....

30 Days of Me - Day Three

A picture of you and your friends:

These are hard to find. 2 reasons: 1. I like to take photos of others but hate photos of myself. 2. I am from Generation X not Generation Y. We oldies don't like to have 1000's of self takes in various states of disarray. It's just not my bag baby.

Alternatively here's me and some of my best mates poising by a fence and some sheep in the central city. (Cornwall Park, Auckland) (Poached this pic off my friend's Facebook page. Hope she doesn't mind.) These are my girlfriends from high school. My closest friend is the one taking the photo so she's absent from the shot. (typical!) We went to school in Warkworth, 40 mins north of Auckland. We might all live in the Big Smoke now, but if there's grass, by golly we'll find it! You can take the girl out of the country....

I love my friends. They are the salt of the earth. They see me, know me, love me. I have other very wonderful friends also.....Just no photos of us all together.

30 days of Me - Day Two

The Meaning behind my blog name:

Originally I thought this blog would be anonymous. And whenever I don't want to use my real name I have always used the name "Sally". I've been a bit of a scaredy cat in my life. Unsure of who I really am I didn't want anyone else telling me who I am. I didn't want others giving me their uninvited opinions as I was not confident I would be able to defend myself if I had to.

But then recently I thought fuck it. I'm now ready to fight for me. I've lived a little, I think things through, I'm a woman not a child. So I've changed the name of my blog in attempt to be more transparent and accountable. And yesterday I even put a (my) face to the page.

@kittengloves is my Twitter name. People often ask me about where that came from too. Again it is a type of veil. I chose it because my real last name begins with K and I wanted to keep that. "Kittengloves" refers to handling with care. A few people have mentioned that the name sounds a little bit kinky. While not my original intention, I've decided I don't mind that fact. : )

30 Days Of Me - Outline

I should have really put this up first. Here's the guideline I will be following along with everyone else doing this....I am about 5 days behind.

Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself

Day 02- The meaning behind your Blog name

Day 03- A picture of you and your friends

Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have

Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to

Day 06- Favorite super hero and why

Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why

Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days

Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad

Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends

Day 12- How you found out about Blogger and why you made one

Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently

Day 14- A picture of you and your family

Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play

Day 16- Another picture of yourself

Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why

Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have

Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them

Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future

Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy

Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else

Day 23- Something you crave for a lot

Day 24- A letter to your parents

Day 25- What I would find in your bag

Day 26- What you think about your friends

Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge

Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?

Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned

Day 30- Your favorite song

30 Days Of Me - Day One

Since I haven't actually blogged like a said I would (surprise, surprise) I thought i'd jump on this bandwagon too. Good practice. We'll see how far I get...

A recent photo of me. (Today infact)

15 Facts about me:

1. I love bird songs and most birds. Hearing the Tui's birdsong makes me feel connected to the land, like I belong.

2. I fear ignorance more than offense. Ignorance is not bliss for those close to the ignorant.

3. I have a younger sister and brother. I love both immeasurably. We have been through a lot together.

4. I love finding new and good music and think it's just as important for the soul as 5+ a day is for the body.

5. I wish I never quit art at school after 4th form. I also wish I did dance and drama.

6. I can be painfully shy and awkward at times. I drink to combat this. This doesn't always benefit me and it often results with attacks of paranoia when I'm alone later.

7. I have very strong nails. They don't break and I have to cut them. I've never had a manicure. But I do love pedicures.

8. I am a mother of 2 boys. 6 and 8 years old. They are so much fun. My 8 year old recently dyed his hair bright pink. Yes I'm one of "those" mothers.

9. I married my husband over 10 years ago. We were just kids. It's been hell* but I have never regretted it. Ever. He is an extraordinary man. I love him so.

10. I feel like I am a red head trapped in a blonde's body. I have hated men for misunderstanding this about me.

11. I am an anthropology student.

12. I love what Atticus Finch said in To Kill a Mockingbird, "You can never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view - until you climb into his skin and walk around in it." This influenced me in my youth and I am forever reminded of it now that I study anthropology.

13. My mother grew up in India. In 2007 I traveled back there with her. I cannot put into words how important that experience was for me.

14. I have a butterfly tattoo on my wrist. No regrets no matter how cliche.

15. I have relapsing/remitting MS. Amongst other annoying auto-immune diseases. But really, it's not that bad. Truly.

* Clarification: It's been "hell" not because of who I married but when I married. (so young at the time - and hurt from our own childhoods) We have an amazing relationship but we didn't get it through "good luck".