30 Days of Me - Day 13

A letter to someone who has hurt you recently:

Dear person who betrayed me,

I miss you. Well, not really you. I miss the person I thought you were. I loved you. Really cared for you. I thought you knew that. I don't think you know much at all anymore.

I know I said I had forgiven you. On a certain level I meant it. I longed for things to go back to the way they were so in my swirling grief I reached back to you and offered my forgiveness. I wanted to forgive you so badly. However, wishing forgiveness into immediate fruition does not necessarily birth it into reality. The reality is I do not forgive you yet. However, I am working towards it.

But just so you know, for now, my anger is only one arm's length away from connecting with your face.

Yours in the honest process of forgiveness,

Lauren.

30 Days Of Me - Day Nine

Something you're proud of in the last few days:

That's a tough one. I should have really thought this one through in advance so I could actually do something worthy of recalling here.

But while I've been sitting here pondering my lack of proud moments, one has fallen into my lap.

I am proud of my boys ability to reconcile their differences and grievances against each other. This scenario just happened:

8yo squashed 6yo on the trampoline to the point of hurt limbs and bruised ego. We dashed outside to the screams of anger and pain. After separating them both we told them to stay clear of each other until they had calmed down were able to talk. About 5 mins passed before the 8yo entered the room and the following conversation commenced:

8yo: "Are we friends yet?"

6yo: "No."

Me to 6yo: "How about you tell him what happened and how you feel."

6yo: "You squashed me real hard. I've really hurt my arm, head and ear. There was no need for it."

Me to 6yo: "How did getting hurt make you feel? Tell him."

6yo to 8yo: "It made me feel 2 things. I feel angry and sad."

8yo: "Ok. I feel empathy for you."

6yo: "What's empathy?"

8yo: "I hear what you've said and I feel sorry. Sorry."

6yo: "Ok."

Me to 6yo: "Will you forgive him?"

6yo: "Hmm. A little bit.....O.k, it's ok, let's go play again."

This is a huge skill to learn. Forgiveness is a process. I am proud that we are teaching our children a dialogue of honesty and grace. These are just the small seeds of learning. But my sons are growing into men day by day...