Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Tea and sympathy

I talked to my friend today. Don't know if I feel better or worse for it. Forget me, I wonder if she found it helpful explaining her plans? We shared afternoon tea while our boys innocently played together. She told me rather calmly and unemotionally why she had to leave him...(Or kick him out I should say.) She's bored, going mad, scared that this is it. She hates her life in suburbia. Is bored, bored, bored......We all know this story well...It's textbook really.....I find it crazy/ironic that she helped to create this idyllic life with all it's order and comfort and yet now that it's done and everything has gone "according to plan", she wants out. Is that right? It seems entirely unfair. Her husband hasn't changed, she has. He doesn't want to change. He's happy with his life....At least he was. Now he has 2 options. 1.) Become someone she wants/needs and change his lifestyle, or 2.) Stay the same, which will mean a change in lifestyle is unavoidable anyway as she will leave him. A rock and a hard place?

What she really wants to know is is he going to fight for her? Is he going to try and win her back? If he does, I'm sure she'd be up for it.....But it's the million dollar question. Is it worth it?

I know I would fight for my marriage. If not for myself, then of course for the kids. My parent's split started a chain of events that bought heartache after heartache. Boredom and dissatisfaction is no excuse for that.....I hope they can work it out. I really do. It would be such a shameful failure otherwise.

Somehow she needs to feel empowered again. Unfortunately, at this stage, she sees their separation as her only means of doing that....They say that nothing is new under the sun...I'd just rather not see history repeating here.

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