After my boyfriend unexpectedly died at the age of 17 I wanted no more of this unwanted attention. I had become a "born again" Christian and my sexuality was not a welcome part of my "new life". Not knowing how to cope with my new asexuality I decided the easiest option was to shave my head. Rid myself of past identities and to start afresh. No more identity in my hair and consequently my sexuality please. So off it went.
As a new Christian, I thought my freshly shaved head meant that I was serious about this new life. It communicated the "dying to self" I heard preached each Sunday. I meant business. I became a "Jesus Freak." I banished my sexuality and started wearing army pants and T shirts to accompany my freshly shaven head. I would not be the "eye candy" of men any more and therefore would not have to worry about my sexuality because I had effectively killed it. No more unwanted sexual advances. My shaven head was a symbol: Old life gone. Sexuality gone. New commitment to Christ and His ways. (Which I saw a sex-less of course.)
This symbol however can be read differently as I was soon to find out. What do you think when you see a young women in army pants, T shirt, shaven head and pierced nose? Not born again Christian I would presume. My predators now became women. At a bar with my friends a young women approached me and asked, "Are you straight?...Or bendable? My friend wants to know."
Confusion ensued. I was a new Christian for fucks sake not a new Lesbian. Damn.
Bodily symbols. What are you actually communicating to the world?