"Does my sexiness offend you?"

I have shared this before. But you/we need to hear it again. It is wonderful.

My favourite shop in Napier

http://www.houseofaroha.com/

I bought the boys T shirts from here last summer. They picked out their own design and coloured T. They've thrashed those shirts. Will need to buy new ones when they're down here again this summer.

Stop motion photography mind f**k

Let your eyes and your mind take 5 with this stop motion photography. Watch till the end.

Image for the day.

Just because. (Found on the interweb.)

The Puriri Moth or Pepetuna

Tis the season for the Pepetuna to take flight in the night skies again. I am captivated by this melancholic and beautiful tale.

This bright, emerald green moth is New Zealand's largest with a wing span of up to 15cm. Only found in the North Island, spring and early summer is the time of year they emerge form their chrysalis and take to the night sky to mate and disperse their eggs upon the forest floor.

Once the eggs hatch they feed on the floor vegetation and make their way to the Puriri tree. Here they bore their way into the trunk and remain hidden within the tree, eating the damaged tree tissue, until they are about 10cm in length. Unbelievably, this can take between 5 to 7 years. During this period of time they are a highly sort after snack for the Morepok. A woven silken mesh over the entrance to their tunnel, their only camouflage and flimsy protection from predators.

Once it is big enough (after years of growth in the darkness of the trunk) it comes out from the tree and forms a chrysalis. Having survived all of this, it finally emerges as a giant moth one spring evening. And herein lies the melancholy....It has no mouth...No way of eating or digesting food. Therefore this rare, magnificent, emerald ghost of the night air only lives for one day. Long enough for it to mate and disperse it's eggs on the forest floor to continue the cycle once again.

I first learned of the Pepetuna one bushwalk this time two years ago. There was a small sign explaining it's lifecycle next to a Puriri tree. I was dismayed to think that it's time as such a glorious flying creature was so short lived. How cruel, not to have a mouth.

But then my husband's perspective was this: A worm, alone and in the dark for it's entire life suddenly, unexpectedly finds it's self spectacularly transformed and able to fly for one whole day before the end. Magic!

The tale of the Puriri Moth captivates me still.

(Photo not my own.)

Art in the Dark

Get along. One more night... http://www.artinthedark.co.nz/

Glimpses of India - Family Vid.

Glimpses of India from Anil Kandangath on Vimeo.

This cute, little video delights my anthropological heart. (Found on the interweb.)

Now that 30 Day Challenge is over...My Plan for my Blog

I'm torn between thinking this blogging thing is a bit of narcissistic crap or that it's a good discipline and a great chance for the regular practice of writing. I'm gonna believe the later for now. Gonna believe I need the practice of writing regularly in the hope that one day something good will come of it. Feel free to join me on this journey. Or not. I might bore you or touch a nerve. Again, l'll aim for the later.

I've had a colourful life. (All 33 years of it.) I have plenty of stories to tell. (As does everyone.) Not all pleasant. Some hopeful, some sad, some fucked up, some sexy, some funny, some scary. I'll try my hand at all of them in due course. Better out then in. (Is what they say.) Over the course of my life I have kept most stuff in....Which lead me to depression and loneliness in my mid to late 20s. However, I found that once I started sharing creatively, my anger dispersed and I was able to find meaning and peace. In sharing I found I wasn't alone after all. On that principle alone, I would like to share more.

Here I aim to kill two birds with one stone: "Posting secrets" while gaining more writing experience.

I will probably regret most of what I write. But I'm sick of being fear's bitch. I'd rather regret what I've done, than what I haven't and wished I had.

On the days when I feel I'm struggling, I will rely on the following website for inspiration:

http://www.plinky.com/prompts

You don't owe me anything. Don't read my blog if it upsets or bores you.

I've said these things before and nothing has come of it....We'll see...

30 Days of Me - Day 30

What is your favourite song?

I don't have one, single favourite song. I love so many songs for so many different reasons. And in the same way a mother loves her children, I can't love one (of my chosen favourites) more than another. Music means a lot to me. It's been with me throughout my pain and joy. I cannot imagine my life without it. So with that in mind I will give you 3 songs:

1. The song I walked down the aisle to in 2000 -

"Ascension" from Elephant. From their 1997 album Absolve Me.

If you ever find it, it's a beautiful song. From a small, kiwi band. I'm playing it now while I write this. It still makes me cry. (If I could work out how to share it with you, I would!)

2. The song I would like at my funeral -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WThvUZ0pSIA

"Von" from Sigur Ros. From their 2007 album Heima. Beautiful grief.

*Actually any song from Sigur Ros would be suitable. Their music brings me closer to God.

3. The song that makes my husband think of me. (and me of him.) -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bs0fI6N7weQ&feature=fvst

"Ion Square" from Bloc Party. From the 2008 album Intimacy.

*There's a hidden track at the end of the Silent Alarm Remix album which we've claimed as our own too.

Lyrics to Ion Square:

Ion square, perspex swings
I breathe out, you breathe in
Permanent midnight
Our love, our love
How we've come to depend
On each other to the end
The space between us has disappeared
You finish my, you finish my words for me

I remember how it began
So many great days in a row
Barefoot on Bishopsgate
Trying to find Blake's grave
If we could stay like this in a silver foil
Trapped in amber for a life
Permanent midnight
Our love, our love

I carry your heart here with me
I carry it in my heart
I carry your heart with me
I carry it in my heart

Who said unbroken happiness
Is a bore, is a bore?
Who said it, my love? I don't mind it
Anymore, anymore
And I reach out a hand over your side of the bed
Pull that blanket over your shoulders exposed to the night
And the hunger of those early years will never return
But I don't mind, I don't mind
'Cause I love my mind when I'm fucking you
Slowed down to a crawl
Years of crime and the bread line
Have not at all dimmed your shine
So let's stay in, let the sofa be our car
Let's stay in, let the TV be our stars
I found my dancing shoes but they don't fit
All the bright lights do is bore me
They bore me

I carry your heart here with me
I carry it in my heart
I carry your heart with me
I carry it in my heart

30 Days of Me - Day 29

A picture of you from last year and how you have changed:

This is me a year ago. I don't look that different. In this photo though, what you don't see, is that I am asleep.

I have since begun the process of waking up...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3yYOWapu2A0&feature=related

30 Days of Me - Day 28

Why are you doing this 30 day challenge?

...Fizz...

Indulging in a bit of narcissistic nonsense. Thought it would be good to get into the habit/practice of blogging everyday. I have enjoyed the creative discipline and practice. Might even carry it on if I can think of things to write about. I have been journaling in an actual journal (made of paper) for one of my university papers. Hence these blog entries have been short and sweet as I have already poured out my words for the day in another medium. Now that I have finished that assessment I might write more here instead. MIGHT.

Thought for the day....

30 Days of Me - Day 27

What you think of your friends:

Is it just me or are these topics/questions really fizzing towards the end of this challenge? Does it not go without saying that I think my friends are choice?

I have very clever, funny, creative, loving, patient, wise friends. I have moved around a lot in my life and that has meant I have acquired many friends from many different places and times. Every one of them is unique yet what they share is their ability to make feel seen and loved. I liken each friend to be an exquisite piece of fabric, with their own texture and colour. Stitched together they cover my life and I am comforted. I hope this patchwork quilt will be with me into my old age.

(photo not my own.)

30 Days of Me - Day 25

What you would find in my bag:

[Yawn]...Ok, here we go:

2x lip gloss, moleskine notebook and pen, Dettol hand sanitizer, Wet Wipes travel pack, plasters and painkillers, Extra peppermint gum, Canon Powershot S90, iPod Touch, wallet, keys, hundreds of receipts and scrappy bits of paper, hot wheels car, 2x McDonald's Happy Meal toys, rouge coins, tissues, phone...

(Photo not my own.)

30 Days of Me - Day 24

A letter to your parents:

Here's a poem instead.

Whakapapa - By Apirana Taylor

I was am

and

will be

alive

growing

bearing fruit

living

dying

in you

and me

I am

the

family tree

Monday Morning sing/dance along...

Our own...

30 Days of Me - Day 23

Things you crave for:

In no particular order: Sleep, wine, art, music, cupcakes, birdsong, hugs, my sons' kissable cheeks, bush walks, sea views, sushi, knowledge, peace, sleep, my husband's embrace, my son's singing, my husband's voice, sex, laughter, the sound of a lawn mower on a Saturday, the sound of a train in the distance at night, the smell of my husband, skinny dips, laughter, peace, sleep.....

(Photo not my own.)

30 Days of Me - Day 22

What makes you different from everyone else?

In short? Nothing. Once I woke up from my beautiful haze I discovered, "I'm just a puny guy on a blue/green ball, Got no problems with that thought at all." Like everyone else I am different. Which makes me the same. I am odd, just like you. Sweet relief.

30 Days of Me - Day 21

A picture of something that makes you happy:

Not a picture but a short video. This Air NZ ad still makes me well up. It makes me happy because I have had vivid dreams of flying over mountains and valleys just like this. In my dreams I can feel the wind in my face and I am free. In my dreams I feel connected to the land, like I belong.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uNCQjJXKPSA